yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
