i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
