Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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