So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
