Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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