I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
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