OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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