He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I want her autograph on my taint
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
