how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
