I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
