yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
