Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
