Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
