I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
