Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
