i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize
