Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
