and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
it's like iHOP with fire
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
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