I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
There's always time for handjobs
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize