fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
