yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
