just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
