My brain says no but my pants say off.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
