So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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