she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
