You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
