What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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