I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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