drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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