Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
