I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
