Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
My dick has a subreddit
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
