Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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