Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
time to smoke my breakfast
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
you had me at cake vodka
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
