yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
