I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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