oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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