people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
The best revenge is premature balding
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
