this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
In other news, I just burned my penis
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize