She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
