how can u be prego again
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Randomize
