they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
