i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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