i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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