So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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