hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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