remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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