Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I just want to make out with him forever
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
