before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
