he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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