i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
as a side note pls kill me
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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