if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
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