oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
