haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
you made out with another girl for some wings
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize