This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Randomize
