we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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