How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Randomize
