Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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