you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
