Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
God, I missed his penis.
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