Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize